One thing that quarantine was surely successful at was forcing couples to decide whether they wanted to get their married life going despite circumstances; or put it off for the sake of the dream wedding day at a time TBD. 

But, does the spectacular wedding day contribute anything meaningful to the following marriage? All we are capable of taking from our wedding day are the photographs, memories, and a spouse. Right? So what good is all that buildup to the perfect wedding day if it comes to an end and two days or weeks or months later you find yourself frustrated and confused about what you’ve gotten into and how you could be so unprepared. 

These thoughts make necessary a brief look into what should be taking place alongside those glorious table displays you’ve been planning. 

1. Pre-Marital Counseling: This includes seeking wise council from friends and family, but professional pre-marital counseling cannot be overlooked in preparing for marriage. Take this very seriously, if you don’t feel your going over the necessary topics (sex, finances, in-laws, etc..) to enough depth, then bring it up or find a different source of counseling. 

Don’t start thinking this is a waste of time, “we know each other well enough, so on, blah blah…” You need to deliberately dig up issues that are going to arise in a healthy setting instead of being shocked when they inevitably show up later. Too many people ride their emotional high into marriage, don’t learn to communicate or know their soon to be spouse as well as they could have and it rapidly evolves into a painful cohabitation, devoid of the ability to effectively communicate and listen. You know you don’t want that, go to counseling. 

2. Date nights: During the stresses and excitement of engagement season make sure to pre plan time to step away and remind yourselves you are still dating. For one, this will set up a good pattern to continue in marriage. Also, this allows purposeful time to discuss pre-marital counsel topics as needed and maximize how well you know the person you’re soon committing the rest of your life to. Don’t forget this is to be separate from wedding planning. This doesn’t mean bringing your design binder to starbucks and working in the corner. Have a pre-planned option to record ideas when they inevitably come up to be returned to later. 

3. Some other quick thoughts, don’t forget to continue spending time with friends, you will still need them in marriage. Many other topics to prepare for should arise from counseling; get a clear understanding of your financial situation, what kind of income you can expect, how you are going to pay off loans, and brace for any possible changes from the lifestyle you may be accustomed to. Make sure there are no religious or child related conflicts that are sure to implode later. Prepare yourself to recognize your own selfishness in every situation, (this is where love becomes an action and not just an emotion). 

There is undoubtedly plenty more to cover. In summary, just communicate as much as possible about everything. In the end, wedding planning 18 hours a day for 3 years won’t help you in the vastly more important realm of being prepared as possible for marriage. Enjoy the process of getting excited to enjoy your big day together, (and make sure you get fantastic photos and film!) but more importantly get ready for the many days that follow, for better or for worse.

For more marriage talks and wedding photos, follow us on instagram at @taylorraephotofilm. See you there!